Anu's Story

Hello, my name is Anu, and I have Major Depressive Disorder, and possibly Borderline Personality Disorder.  I am twenty-one, a college drop out, and all-around craft faery.  I graduated from community college with high honors and a 3.87 GPA, although did not make more than two months in my new college.  I don't plan on going back, although I am looking into going to school for cosmetology.

I have been depressed since high school, although suffered in silence for years, and was not formally diagnosed until November 2010.  In some ways, the diagnosis was a relief; in others, a curse.  I have self-harmed, on and off, for four years, and was diagnosed with an eating disorder when I was seventeen.  My relationship with food and self-injury are both still thorny, although I rarely hurt myself anyone, I still binge and purge/starve myself on occasion.  It's something I'm working on.

I have a history of abuse, predominantly emotional, some physical, never sexual.  My father is the primary source of these abuses, although I still live with both him and my mother.  I am moving in with my uncle in January, however, and hope being away from such a volatile and stressful environment will cause leaps and bounds in my treatments.

In late November 2010, I attempted suicide by overdose, and landed myself in a psych ward.  It was what I consider to be the turning point in my treatment, and the place I began to get better.  I had the support of nurses and other patients, and while the doctor was horrible, I learned a lot from my stay.  From the hospital I was moved into an acute partial program, where I stayed for a week and a half, until my insurance ran out.  I made friends in there, created a support system, and began to feel "stable" for the first time in years.  I am on medication, two differeny SSRIs, and go to therapy and a psychiatrist.

As of now, I am discovering life for the first time as a person getting better.  I am more than my diagnosis, and I hope this blog reflects that.  I am discovering things I love to do, interests, and ways to cope and combat with my illness.  I'm also learning to trust people again after an emotionally draining break-up, and severe isolation that nearly cost me all my friends.

It's a hard road, but I'm ready to walk it.  I hope you'll join me.